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The beauty of lilac & some thoughts on turning 30

Hello lovely people! I just came back from an awesome trip to Hamburg, where I visited my friends and family and also celebrated my 30th year on this {fill in the greatest adjective you know} place called earth. Yep, the final days of the sweet twenties have come! And to be honest, it does feel a bit weird for me. Even though I believe that age is more of an attitude than a number, this transition from the twenties to the thirties definitely has an emotional effect on me. Not in a negative way luckily, but let’s say in a motivational way.

Since I’m in a really happy and exciting place right now, figuring out what’s next in my life, I thought I’d share some thoughts and experiences with you that brought me to where I am right now. It’s probably one of the most personal blogpost I did, but by sharing a part of my story you can hopefully get a better idea of the 30 year old woman girl behind this blog. : ) So let me tell you what shaped my last few years and why I am super excited about the year 2015.

By the way, I’m also excited about the beautiful lilac bush growing in front of my window, so I will add some pictures of it to this post. ; )

 

Purple lilac

Purple lilac

 

In my twenties my attitude was, that I still have all the time in the world to decide on what I want to do, how to live and even how to be my best self. If I made wrong decisions, there would still be so much time to fix it. And I’m glad I always had this attitude because it kept me in a flow of trusting that everything I desire will come with time. And it did, even though it all went differently than I expected.

 

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While I was in the middle of my studies, motivated to finish university and to start working, an unexpected thing happened. One of my close friends died and it made me stand still for a while, zooming back and doing some serious soul searching. It was then, when I deepened my interest in environmental matters and finding ways to make this short time we live on this planet count. Find ways to be connected with myself and nature. And while doing so I must admit, that I lost my focus on my studies, especially because the subjects I studied, which was musicology and cultural studies, had little to do with everything new I was so interested in all the sudden.

 

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So the next few years I just dragged my studies behind me like a big, heavy rock. Even though it crossed my mind often, that it would feel so good to just let go of my degree, it was not ever an option, because I had already made it so far and just the thought of me quitting on the privilege to have an education made me feel angry at myself.

 

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Still, I definitely lacked motivation. So I kept on dragging my studies, while doing a lot of other things, like writing this blog, engaging in a project called Euphoria, working a small job on the side and moving to Switzerland with my boyfriend. Surely I could have “achieved” more in the last few years. Always having the “you should finish your studies!” lingering at the back of my head, definitely kept me from doing other things in full gear. On the other hand, being enrolled in university gave me a lot of freedom, which I was very, very thankful for! So looking back, it was all good and I wouldn’t change a thing. But you cannot imagine, how utterly happy and relieved I was last December when I finally held my graduation certificate in my hands. HALLELUJA!!  Rock – gone! And guess what, even the guy at the fruit stand of the farmers market gave me a high five because by now EVERYBODY knew about my struggle to finish university! :-D

Looking back, I’m so glad that I didn’t quit even though it all took much longer than planned. But sticking to something, making small steps or even making detours, pays of in the end!

 

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The year came to an end, my studies came to an end and last week my twenties came to an end. And all of that made me feel so uplifted, because all these endings add up to a big new beginning for me!

 

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2015 will be an interesting year, because I’m finally starting to create and materialize all of the ideas that I dreamt up in my mind in the last few years. Things that I held back until I would finish university. Some of them will be a challenge, because my goal is to create a career path that reflects my beliefs and values. And right now I have no idea if I’ll be able to accomplish this. All I know is that I am very motivated. If all goes as planned then I will be able to share some ideas/projects with you soon. (Yay!) If it doesn’t go as planned, then that’s ok too. The twenties have taught me to trust in the flow and I will stick to that mantra in my thirties. “Go with the flow!”

 

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But now I’m curious to hear from you! Do you have goals for 2015? Will you follow a new dream? Or do you still have to overcome hurdles in your life?  What have the twenties or thirties taught you?

 

5 Comments

  • Gesche

    03.05.2015 at 09:39 Reply

    I’m reading this still in my PJs with a cup of coffee next to me – Sundays :)
    Thank you so much for sharing this story about yourself and congrats on getting your degree! I’m 29, and I struggled immensely in my last years of University. The last year of studying dragged on for about 3 years. This also kept me from doing a lot of things I loved and was interested in at all or as you say “in full gear”, because of the constant guilty conscience “you should finish your studies!” hanging over my head.
    But now, coming out on the other end of this dreary period, I know that I’ve learned a lot. For example, that postponing dealing with your mental health problems till you finished university is contra-productive ;) But also, that I’ve great friends I can count on and that I really need a creative (panting!) outlet, and that I can do both: Science and art!
    So, my goal for 2015 is “doing something with this art stuff”, while figuring out my ecology-work. My motto, or word of the year is similar to yours “EASE”, I just don’t want to frantically struggle any more.
    This went on for long, sorry, couldn’t help it. I’m excited to see what’s in your future plans (but no pressure),

    Gesche

    • Greenderella

      04.05.2015 at 06:35 Reply

      Thank you so much for your comment Gesche! Seems like we have made very similar experience and I definitely agree with you that this time had a lot of positive sides too. I also learnt a lot (especially about myself) and I know this time would have been harder, if I didn’t have friends and family who always supported what I did (and not constantly asked “when are you done with your paper?” haha).
      It’s awesome that you’ve decided to do more of your art – you truly have a gift and I really look forward to see more of your work! That reminds me, I should head over to your blog and check what’s new on the Dawanda Shop etc! Anyways, I wish you good luck for all your plans! Good times ahead! :-)

  • Eva @ Four Leaf Clover

    05.05.2015 at 00:22 Reply

    Gorgeous, gorgeous photos!! wow! I love your outlook, Franzi. Just keep going with the flow and I know everything will work out wonderfully! That’s awesome that the guy at the market gave you a high five, haha! University is such a struggle! Especially if it’s not what you expected it to be and if the subject isn’t exactly your main focus/interest. And a super happy, happy (belated) birthday!! I’m so glad you had such a great time on your birthday, we should keep celebrating when we next see each other… lots of things to celebrate! :) And, as you know, 2015 is pretty huge for me, too, haha! Ahhh… scary (mostly good scary)! :| :D

    • Greenderella

      05.05.2015 at 09:56 Reply

      Great idea Eva, let’s celebrate aaaall the good things of 2015 and while we’re at it, let’s celebrate Earth Day too (cause that is one to celebrate every day!) :-D Thank you for your birthday wishes and I’m happy you enjoyed the pictures. I guess I took them just in time because the lilac is already starting to lose the flowers. Oh, let’s celebrate the lilac too!! Just sayin’ :-D

      • Eva @ Four Leaf Clover

        05.05.2015 at 22:12 Reply

        Haha, sounds like it will be an awesome day already :D I saw a lilac bush on my walk today… smelled sooooo good!

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